The girl made of lies
by XxCamixX
Summary: What happens when you just can't get out of the dark cloud of numnbness, when all you ever said to your friends was a lie? When sometimes all you can do is fake smile because you are void of feelings? What happens when a certain boy enters your life and everything starts to change? what happens when you get tired of being the girl made of lies? GRALU!
1. Prologue

**AN: So I decided to start this new story because, well I can't get it out of my head so I had to written it down. Don't worry I will keep on with Still Alive and I will priority that one. So this one will have slow updates. Anyways enjoy.**

**The girl made of lies.**

**Prologue.**

I have always been alone. Ever since my mother's death and my father's isolation I have been on my own. Ever since then I had lost the ability to feel anything. Always keeping on with the cheerful girl façade. Always with fake smiles and faked laughs, because what good will it be for anyone to know that I can't get attached to anything? But ever since I started on Fairy tail high school I have started to feel even lonelier. With everyone there being so cheerful and nice, so loudly and so friendly.

And me always thinking: _what if I could really feel anything for any of this people?_ It was my friend Natsu that had bring me here in the first place. I meet him in town when I had run away from home. I had watched my father become a robot slowly over the years and I couldn't stand it anymore. When I first entered the school I actually thought it was fun. Until everyone got interested in my past and I had to lie to them. I told everyone that I didn't have a last name because I was an orphan. They believed me and everything got back to normal. That lasted a few months until everything started to fade away, the happiness I felt when I was with them wasn't there anymore, the laughs that were real became fake ones and more lies started to come out of my mouth.

It was as if the life I had in the big mansion was now here in high school. I didn't want that I wanted to feel happy or to feel sad. I want to cry and laugh. I want to be honest and to not need to lie.

But I know that it wasn't possible because everything that I had told them was a lie. After a few months even the laughs and the cries were a lie.

I Lucy Heartfilia was the girl made of lies.

**AN: So what did you think? Liked it or hated it? Please review and tell me… I hope you enjoyed it and until next time **

**XxCamixX**


	2. Chapter 1

**AN: Omg, thank you so much for the amazing reviews you rock! I am so happy that I got so many reviews. So I decided to start answering them in the beginning of every chapter **

**Ceateelements: **Thank you for your review and support, it means a lot to me that you are going to put this on your alerts!

**Akarui Nightshade: **Thank you for the support, and I will try to update both of them as fast as I can

**Bareerah123: **Thank you so much for taking your time and review. I will try to update fast

**ShiningStellar: **Thank you for taking your time to review. Yeah I plan to prioritize Still Alive.

**IloveCelestialIce: **Thank you for your review. It means a lot to me that you people like it!

**Disclaimers: I do NOT own any of the characters in this story all of them belongs to Hiro Mashima!**

**Also I forgot to mention it on the previous chapter but English is NOT my first language so I am sorry for any grammatical error.**

CHAPTER ONE

LUCY'S P.O.V

I was walking towards the school and I was hungry as hell. I had overslept so I hadn't had the time to eat breakfast. The walk towards the school was really peaceful, not to feel the need to smile or get upset at someone. Really being alone was one of the best things in the world. But as soon as I arrived at the school gate my peaceful time was over. I heard Natsu yell my name I went stiff and stayed at the school gate. Everyone was waving their hands at me, signalizing for me to go to them. I put my cheerful mask on and smiled at them.

I was about to walk to them when somebody bumped into me. I fell and I hit my face.

"Could you please not stay in the way?" An irritated manly voice said.

I felt how annoyance started to rise inside of me and I was about to yell at the guy that had bumped into me. But then I saw a glimpse of pink hair that took me up from the ground.

"Could YOU be more careful when YOU walk?" I heard Natsu growl.

"Um Natsu, could you please let me down?" I said with a shy voice.

I didn't feel embarrassed at all but it would seem weird for everyone that I wouldn't be embarrassed by being carried by Natsu, who everyone thought that I had a crush on. It was fine by me that all my friends except Natsu thought that way it would seem that I could get attached to someone, and I would have an excuse to be alone sometimes. The shy and cheerful girl role suited me. I didn't even have to put so much effort in being shy. And the cheerful stile wasn't that hard either.

Natsu putted me down and started to scratch the back of his head.

"Sorry Lucy." He said while grinning.

"It's okay." I said with a small smile and then I started to walk towards my other friends, and dragged Natsu along with me so he wouldn't make any trouble to the guy that had bumped into me. I turned my head while I was walking to see who it was. It wasn't somebody I knew. He had black hair and blue eyes he was pretty handsome. He just looked at me in the eyes and I just looked away.

"Lu-chan, are you okay?" said Levy one of my best friends.

"Yeah I am fine." I said and smiled at Levy.

"But hey Lu-chan, how did it feel to be carried by Natsu?" she asked while giggling.

"U-um it was embarrassing, and it felt weird." I said as I looked away.

"Lu-chan you should just confess already! I am sure he likes you too!" She said while we entered our classroom. I went stiff at her statement, I couldn't confess it would mean that I should act even happier that I can right now. Or if he were to reject me I would have to act depressed. It was hard enough as it is.

"I don't think I should, what if it ruins our friendship?" I said and started to walk inside the classroom again.

We walked towards our seats and Levy was still saying that I should tell Natsu. How could I fake a whole relationship? It was hard enough to fake friendship. Everyone was still talking until our teacher Erza walked in. Everyone feared her so when she entered the classroom everyone went silent.

"Good morning students, Today we have a transfer student." She said.

The door opened and a boy with black hair walked in. He stood in front of everyone and introduced himself.

"Yo, my name is Gray Fullbuster." He said and looked outside the window.

I heard some of the girls whisper that he was cool and hot. I wished that I could think like them but for me he was just a normal boy trying to act like he didn't care. I felt how he gazed at me and I realize that he was the same boy from this morning. I looked away trying to avoid his eyes. Somehow it felt weird when he looked at me. I felt how the person sitting behind me poked me in the back. I turned around to see what she wanted.

"Do you want something Juvia?" I asked her with a smile.

"Juvia only wants to tell Lucy-san that Gray-sama will become Juvia's and that Lucy-san should not interfere with it."

I sweat dropped and smiled.

"No problem Juvia I will not interfere." I said with a small smile.

I heard my name in the background and I looked over at Erza-sensei that was pointing towards the empty seat beside me. My eyes widen in realization was that brat going to sit beside me the whole semester? He sat beside me and I could feel the death glares Juvia was giving me.

First period went on smooth. I didn't say anything and neither did he. It was actually kind of relaxing to not need to put on fake smiles or fake shyness. Just sitting there doing schoolwork and not saying anything. It was as if neither of us needed to talk just to not feel an awkward silence. I knew he knew that I was the girl he had bumped into, but he did not mention it and it was fine by me; I wouldn't mention our little meeting either.

After class I packed all my things up and went outside the classroom before everyone else. I knew that if stayed Levy, Natsu and the others would have asked me to go with them to the cafeteria and I really didn't want that.

"Lu-chan, Wait for us!" I heard Levy yell behind me.

I stopped and I saw that the new guy, Gray, passed in front of me and disappeared later on the mass of students.

"Lu-chan, come let's go to the cafeteria and eat!" said Levy as cheerful as always.

"I am sorry Levy-chan, but I had a big breakfast and I am not hungry." Another lie came out of my mouth. And I just looked at the floor.

"Oh, it's okay Lu-chan. I just was asking you because you usually eat breakfast with us in school." She said with a small smile tugged on her lips.

I knew I had made Levy disappointed. It was like a tradition all together eating breakfast at the cafeteria. I also forced another smile and walked past her. I knew where I could be alone with no one disturbing me, where I could think in peace and not need the urge to smile and laugh the whole time. I walked past the corridors where I met Mira-chan and Lissana. Great.

"Oh, Lucy the cafeteria is the on other way." Mira said smiling.

I smiled back and nodded before talking.

"I know Mira-chan, But today I eat breakfast at home." I said. In reality I was really hungry but I couldn't stand sitting with them today. I needed to put the act down from time to time otherwise I may become crazy.

"I understand Lucy; see you at math class then." Mira smiled and walked away.

Lissana stayed and looked at me with worried eyes, but then also walked away. Somehow that look and her starting to walk away had hurt, I didn't know why but it just had hurt. I saw the retrieving backs of my friends until they were out of sight. I started to walk again, towards my secret place. The only place where I could be myself, where I could be the empty shell that I am.

I was walking upstairs to the rooftop. Somehow my friends had never thought of coming up here, and I was happy for it.

When I opened the door I saw something that I was not expecting. Somebody was sitting on the bench that I used to sit on. It was a boy by the looks of it but I couldn't see who it was because he had his jacket hood on. And I couldn't see the boy's hair color.

I started to walk closer to him. Somehow the Image of him sitting there captivated me. He seemed so lonely so… alike me.

I was about to touch his shoulder when he turned to see me. His blue eyes looked straight to the brown ones of mine. For some reason I couldn't stop looking into his eyes and he didn't look away either.

I realized who it was when I saw his black messy hair.

"Gray." I whispered.

We looked away and I looked away a small blush forming on my cheeks.

"Hi." I whispered and putted the shy girl mask on.

"Yo." He said and looked away. He seemed like he didn't care.

"Um, what brings you here Gray-kun?" I said shyly.

"Drop the honorific and well I like rooftops they are peaceful and are kind of the few places I can be alone." He said with a cold voice.

My eyes widen and I realized he was really alike me.

"What brings you here?" He asked me avoiding my gaze.

"Well same as you, I guess." I said sitting down beside him.

I dropped the act; he didn't know me so I didn't see why it was necessary. I wasn't going to smile or laugh. It didn't seem necessary when I am around him.

I could feel he was looking at me but I just ignored it. I kept looking at the view in front of me. It was beautiful I could see all the small houses that were on the behind the school. Also I could see the school fountain that was on the back yard. There were so many flowers in so many different colors. It was beautiful. Sometimes I could just sit here for a whole hour and just look at the backyard.

"Beautiful isn't it?" I heard Gray whisper beside me.

I didn't know if he was asking me or if he was just saying that to himself. I answered anyway.

"I know, I know."

After that we just stayed in silence until the bell rang.

**AN: Thanks for reading! I hope the chapter was okay, Please review and Guys I am sorry if Gray is OOC. But hey he is really hard to write about.**

**Until next time**

**And Happy new year! **

**XxCamixX **


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you so much for the amazing reviews and I am sorry for the delayed update…**

**ShiningStellar: Oh god so embarrassing :$ Thank you for correcting me I should fix it immediately! Anyway No this story will not be involving a love-triangle however I can't tell you more than this. ;) Thank you for the review.**

**Akarui Nightshade: Thank you for the review and the compliment! ;) **

**XxxangelheartedxxX: Haha it's not confusing at all! I have thought something alike that but I can't tell you what exactly! ;) I am really happy that you like the story so far! And sorry for the late update…**

**WaAiri: Naw thank you, thanks for the review! **

**Grayxlucyfan: Thank you for the review, I'll try to update more frequently!**

Chapter 2

Gray's P.O.V

We were sitting on the bench on the roof. She was looking at the garden that was behind the school and I couldn't help but admire her beauty. Her blond hair that reached below her shoulders and her nice body, not that I looked at it I wasn't a perverted man. Also she had big brown eyes that really did fit her pale face. But there was something in them that seemed strange it was as if they were emotionless, like there was nothing in them. And if the saying the eyes are the windows of the soul, then this girl did not have a soul at all. The image of her looking at the garden really did captivate me; she looked so alone yet so relived. As if it was totally fine with her to be that lonely.

The bell rang and we both stood up. We didn't say anything to each other and I walked out before her to search for my classroom. When I was at the lockers I saw a girl with blue hair looking at me. I tried to ignore her and act as if didn't notice, but I could feel her eyes on me the whole time. When I had gotten my math book and started to walk towards the classroom I could still feel her presence behind me. I looked back and I saw her immediately. She had short blue hair and blue eyes, her skin was pale and she really did look like doll. She had white hat that didn't seem to correspond to the schools uniform however it did fit her somehow. Her school skirt was long and it reached below her knees it wasn't as the others female students that preferred to wear the skirt short. She noticed that I was looking at her and blushed then she hid behind a girl with short white hair and blue eyes. I started to walk towards the classroom again and I could hear how the two girls where whispering something.

"Gray-kun!" I heard one of them yell my name.

"Huh?" I said as I turned around to face the girl with short white hair.

"Hi Gray-kun my name is Lissana and I am in the same math class as you." She said while giving me a wide smile.

"How did you know my name? You don't have homeroom with me right?" I asked her, because I was pretty sure that I didn't see her in the classroom earlier.

"Well no, but I have heard a lot about you from some of my friends." Lissana said still giving me a sweet smile.

So the rumors had already started. It happened every time I started a new school, the rumors would spread and everybody would just want to befriend me because of my family or because some of the girls my think I am handsome or cool. I sighed.

"This is Juvia a friend of mine." Lissana said showing me the blue haired girl.

"H-hi Gray-sama!" She said stuttering and blushing.

"Hi, well I really need to go or I'll be late." I said as I started to walk.

"Wait Gray-sama, Lissana-san and Juvia also have math. Maybe Juvia and Lissana-san could show you the way?"

"Sure." I said as I started to walk again.

They showed me the way to the classroom, it was pretty far away from our lockers. The lockers were in the second floor while the math classroom was on the fourth floor. We walked in to the classroom and Lissana the girl with white hair ran towards another girl that looked exactly like her only with longer hair. Her school uniform looked more like a dress than a uniform, the skirt reached her ankles and the blouse was sewn together with the skirt looking like a dress. It didn't seem weird and it actually fit her.

"Gray-kun this is my older sister Mirajane." Lissana said smiling.

"Hi, Gray-kun you can just call me Mira." Mira said to me.

"If you are Lissana's older sister then why are you in the same grade as us?" I asked her not showing any emotion.

"Well I am Lissana's older twin sister." She said giving me a sweet smile.

"Oh…" I said unable to say something else. How could I not notice how similar the sisters were?

"Anyways welcome to Fairy-tail high school." She said giving me another smile.

I walked towards an empty seat that was beside the blue haired girl named Juvia. I could see her blush when I sat beside her, but she was one of the few ones in this class that I knew the name of. Lissana and Mira sat behind me and Juvia and were talking to us. They were asking me questions about my old school and one or two questions about my personal life. As I was chatting with them I heard how someone slammed open the door.

"Morning everyone!" yelled a pink haired boy. I was sure that I had seen him in my previous class but somehow I couldn't remember if he even introduced himself to me. Also he was the one that I had carried away the girl I had bumped into this morning.

"Natsu you don't need to yell every freaking time you walk inside a classroom!" said a blonde girl that had entered after him.

I recognized her immediately she was the one that I had bumped into this morning and the one I sat with on the rooftop a few minutes ago. I didn't know her name but what surprised me was the sweet smile that she had on her lips now. She seemed so different as how she had been on the rooftop a few minutes ago, how could she do that? Smile like that when she just had seem so alone and emotionless. She really did fascinate me. She can be a really good actor.

"Lucy!" I heard the girls behind me yell to the blonde girl.

"Mira, Lissana!" She yelled back walking towards them. Not even giving me a glance.

She sat on the table and started chatting with them and the Juvia who sat beside me. It was as if to her I was invincible. That was something new always when I started a new school I had been the center of attention of all the girls. But to her it was if I just was someone she didn't even care to look at. It didn't piss me off as it should I actually thought it was weird and at the same time nice of her. Maybe she just wanted me to be alone as I had told her in the rooftop. My thoughts were interrupted by Mira who started talking to me again.

"Gray-kun this is Lucy." Mira said.

"Hi Gray! My name is Lucy!" she said while giving me a handshake. Weird.

Her smile never leaved her features. And I didn't know if she really was the same girl I had met in the roof.

As she started to talk to Juvia I saw two guys walking towards our tables. One of them had spiky long black hair with red eyes also he had various piercings on his face. The other one had black eyes and pink hair also he had a white scarf that looked like it was made of scales.

"Natsu, Gajeel come sit with us!" Lissana said to the two males.

The pink haired boy smiled and ran towards us. And the other one just followed after.

"Where is the bookworm?" The black haired guy said.

The girls giggled and Lucy answered.

"She has Spanish with Loke. Have you forgotten that she doesn't have math with us?" Lucy said giggling.

She looked so weird when she smiled and giggled. It was like she wasn't the same person that I had met in the first place.

"Lucy! Where were you? You missed breakfast!" The pink haired boy said putting an arm around said girl's shoulders.

"I wasn't hungry Natsu." She said giving him a warm smile.

He pouted but then he gave her a toothy grin.

"It's okay but you can't miss lunch Luce!" He said shaking her a little.

Lucy smiled and nodded.

Nobody could say anything else because in that moment the teacher walked in and everybody sat down. Lucy sat beside the pink haired guy that I guess is Natsu.

"Morning Idiots! Shut up so can start the class!" The teacher said.

I sweat dropped could a teacher really call his students idiots?

"Aye, Gildarts-sensei." Everybody in the classroom went silent.

I looked over at my side and saw that Lucy and Natsu were whispering something to each other. She looked really radiant when she was chatting with Natsu and I couldn't help but wonder why she didn't look like that the whole time.

[Time skip after math class]

Everybody was gathering their stuff when Juvia started to talk to me.

"Gray-sama what is your next subject?" She asked and blushed.

"I've got arts class after this, what about you?" I said maybe she could show me the way if she got the same subject as me.

"Oh, Juvia has history class. But I think Lucy-san and Levy-san got art class after this." She said looking down at the floor.

"Hmm, you got arts class to gray?" Lucy asked me giving me a bright smile.

"Yes, maybe you could show me the way?" I asked her.

"Yes I can." She said giving me another smile.

And that was when I noticed, her smile was radiant and bright but her eyes were exactly the same as those I saw before. Dull and lifeless.

What the hell is going on with this girl?

**AN: So I know that Mira and Lissana aren't twins but I wanted to have both of them in the same grade as Lucy and Gray. Also I know that Juvia may not be as shy as I pictured her in this chapter but I really liked the Idea of her being the shy girl. :P**

**Also I am sorry if maybe ALL of the characters are OOC, I tried my best **

**I hope you liked the chapter and until next time.**

**XoXo**

**XxCamixX**


	4. Chapter 3

**AN: thank you for the amazing reviews and I am sorry for this late update…**

**Snowdrop03: Thank you so much for the review and taking your time to read! I am happy that you don't think that I made the characters ooc; it makes me feel like I did a good work! :D Also I really thought it was fun writing the part about the uniforms so we are two enjoying that part Teehe! : P **

**Micky Moon: I am so happy that you gave the story a shot! It means a lot that you kept on reading even though you didn't like it quite much at first! About the thing about normal interactions I also obsessed with things like those! So I can totally relate to what you said! As I said I am really glad that you kept on reading and I hope that you like this chapter! **

**Akarui Nightshade: Glad you like it! And I know right but you will soon figure out why he is the only one noticing! Thanks for the review!**

**Hinata3487: Omg! Thank you! I am so happy you liked it! *starts clapping for an hour out of happiness* thank you so much for the support!**

**ShiningStellar: Hi mate! Thanks for the review and I am relieved that you find the ooc ness okay… for now. XD I know it's a cliché to have Juvia with a crush on Gray but come on! I just had to XD. It's good that you didn't find any mistakes in this chapter! :D Anyways here is the chapter hope you enjoy it! ;)**

**Hachibukai-chan: You know I was freaking out when I saw that you reviewed! Seriously I went fangirling! Lol! Anyway so happy that you liked the story and that you left THREE reviews! And I hope that you've been a good girl because here is the chapter! If you don't well prepare for punishment! *insert evil laugh here* Anyway hope you like the chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of fairy tail they belong to the great Hiro Mashima.**

Chapter three

Gray's P.O.V

I was walking with Lucy towards the arts classroom. An awkward silence filled the air, and it really was suffocating. I was trying to come up with some kind of a start for a conversation but it seemed like my head was empty of ideas.

I glanced over at her and noticed that she was wearing that emotionless face again. It was like she only had that face when she was with me, and I didn't know if I was supposed to be flattered or to feel insulted, either way it was weird. As we walked in silence I came up with a god question to start a conversation.

"So how long have you attended this school?" I asked her.

"About a year or so, why?" Her voice was surprisingly cold.

"Just wondering you know, because it seems as if none of your ehm friends knows your true attitude." The words had just slipped out of my mouth; it wasn't really my intention to say that out loud. But I couldn't cry over spilled water. Maybe I could get an answer to this girl's behavior this way?

She stopped and looked at me in the eyes, her face still emotionless.

"What do you mean by `true attitude´" she said glaring at me.

I wasn't able to answer because at that moment someone yelled.

"Lu-chan!"

At that moment Lucy's face changed, her cold glare towards me transformed into a warm smile. I looked towards the direction were the voice had come from and saw a petite girl with blue hair tied up in a ponytail running towards us.

"Hi Lu-chan, are you heading towards the arts classroom right now?" she asked Lucy.

"Yeah, want to go with me?" Lucy said, the smile never leaving her face.

"Sure! Oh hi you must be the new student, Fullbuster-kun" she said looking at me and giving me a wide smile.

"Yes I am and you are?" I said with a small smile on my lips.

"You can just call me Levy."

"In that case you can just call me Gray." I said.

"Well we should be going otherwise we will be late." Lucy said and started walking once again.

Lucy and Levy were talking and I was silent the whole time while we were on our way to the classroom. I couldn't quite understand what they were talking about but by the looks of it Lucy was teasing Levy for something.

We walked inside the classroom and it seemed as if the teacher had passed out on her desk. The room had a strong scent of alcohol but it seemed as if I was the only one to notice. Lucy and Levy walked towards one of the tables with two guys sitting there. I felt kind of uncomfortable because I didn't remember them. Lucy and Levy were chatting with them and they didn't seem to notice that I had walked over to an empty table. I kept glancing over at the table were Lucy and the others were sitting. She was laughing and smiling a lot, but somehow it didn't seem naturally more like forced? But that didn't concern me right, we weren't even friends. Heck I just met her this morning, yet there is something about her that captivates me. She is really something that I never had seen before. This was going to be interesting.

But what I didn't notice was that growing smirk that was forming in my face while thinking about this.

LUCY'S P.O.V

I was talking with Loke and Freed, like I always did on arts class. Loke was trying to flirt with me and I couldn't care less. I was smiling like everyone expected me to, because seriously what could I do? I could feel somebody's eyes on me the whole time so I turned to look over at some of the tables around the classroom. I saw that Gray was looking at me with a smirk on his face that somehow annoyed me.

"Gray-kun, come sit with us!" I called him over.

He seemed to be a little surprised but walked to our table anyway. Loke and Freed and also seemed to be a little surprised over my actions by the looks of their faces.

"He is the new kid Levy-chan mentioned earlier." I told them.

They nodded and just kept talking. When Gray sat down with us Levy and the others started to talk to him. I didn't quite catch what they were talking about because I wasn't listening. Instead I looked outside the window looking over at the front of our school building. The school gate was closed but I saw some students that were climbing up. They were going to ditch classes today by the looks of it. Some other students were smoking a few meters away from the front gate. They were really stupid to smoke in a place like that were they could be caught so easily.

The school bell rang and interrupted my thoughts. Cana-sensei woke up and started to tell us what we were supposed to do on today's class.

"So *hic* today y-you are going to do portraits of each other." She said. And it looked like she was going to pass out at any time.

Levy looked over at me signalizing that we were going to be in the same group. We always were.

"So because today, we got a new student in our class, yes you sitting over there. *Hic* I think I should pick you up a partner, because I g-guess you don't know many people in this class." Cana-sensei said.

She looked over at some papers that she had on her desk, and I really was wondering how she could even stand after drinking so much. There were three empty bottles of some kind of drink on her desk and who knew how much she had been drinking before class started. As she looked over some papers she took a sip from a can that magically appeared out of nowhere.

"Fullbuster Gray you will work with Lucy Heartfilia in this assignment." Cana-sensei said this time she didn't even stutter.

After she said that she passed out on her desk and you could hear her snoring.

I looked over at Gray and saw that his face was expressionless. It was as if looking into a mirror when I looked at him. His eyes weren't showing any kind of emotion neither did his face. I wondered if it was that he didn't feel anything at all like me. Or could it possibly be that he was putting up an act? Why hadn't I thought of it before? Maybe he could help me keep up the lie a little longer. I didn't know why I could be myself around him but maybe it was because he was the same as me? If it was so this could be really interesting.

"Gray do you want to go to a little more peaceful place to work at? I mean I don't think Cana-sensei would mind." I said giving him a small smile.

He looked at me a while. Like he was studying something and after a while he just nodded. I could feel Levy's and Loke's eyes on us while we were talking. But I didn't mind, why would I anyway?

We took the things we would use and walked outside the classroom. When I knew we were outside the sight of everyone in there I dropped the smile.

"Interesting act you've got here." Gray said while smirking.

"What do you mean?" I snapped at him.

"I mean that I can see that you are faking a lot when you are around your friends. But I can't figure out why?" He said looking into my eyes.

How could he notice that after just a few hours of meeting me? Was it that obvious?

"That doesn't concern you!" I said as I started to walk towards the library where we were going to work.

He followed me and we walked inside the library and sat down at a small table. The room was empty and it was really quiet. I liked it; it made me relax a little.

I took out the papers and started to draw Gray, well it was kind of hard and I really sucked at drawing.

I looked up to see his face and I had to admit that he was good looking. He had dark hair and really dark blue eyes. But that wasn't something that I would admit out loud. While we were drawing it was silent.

I looked over at his paper and couldn't help but notice that he really had some drawing skills. The picture of me really seemed real almost like he was a professional artist.

"Wow, you are really god at this you know?" I said to him, my voice showing an evident admiration.

"Thanks." He just whispered back.

We continued to draw until I saw that the class was almost over. Somehow I didn't want this to end being around him was somehow relaxing. Because he already seen through my mask I didn't need to put it up. Maybe it was good after all that he had noticed?

"We should go now." I said to him as I stood up.

He just nodded.

"You know we have lunch now maybe you want to eat with me and my friends at the cafeteria?" I asked him.

I didn't know why I did that but it seemed necessary. Maybe he could make some friends he wouldn't be studying me so much?

"Sure." Was the only thing he said.

I was starting to get annoyed by the short answers he was giving me. Like he felt bored when he was me, the mild fascination he felt at the begging wasn't there anymore. And it was as if he was tired of me already. And that was some disturbing shit. How could he grow tired of people so fast?

We packed our things and headed towards the classroom again. When we walked inside the classroom I saw that Cana-sensei was still sleeping on her desk. I wonder how the hell she even got this job.

"Lu-chan, look how well I draw Loke!" Levy came to me and showed me her drawing.

It really had turned out good. Considering that Levy wasn't the best at drawing she did a really good job at painting Loke.

"Good work. Levy-chan!" I said to her with a small smile.

The bell rang and all the people walked out of the classroom.

"Freed are you going to eat with us?" Loke asked freed.

"No I will eat with Bixlow, Evergreen and Laxus as always." Freed told Loke walking to the opposite the direction if the cafeteria.

The rest of us started to walk towards the cafeteria and as we arrived I saw that Natsu, Mira, Lissana, Elfman and Gajeel were waiting for us outside the cafeteria.

"Lucy!" I heard Natsu yell as he walked towards me and the others.

"Natsu you don't need to yell my name every time you run into me. Baka."

Everybody started to laugh and then everybody walked inside.

"Lucy, I think I should go." I heard Gray whisper to my ear.

His face was still expression less and he looked kind of bored. That look started to piss me off.

That surprised me because it had been a while since I had felt annoyed for real. And I couldn't help but smile.

Maybe this kid could make me a normal girl again…

**AN: So what did you think of this chapter minna? Was it good or bad? Hope I didn't disappoint you…**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**

**Until next time**

**XoXo**

**XxCamixX **


	5. Chapter 4

**AN: I am so sorry for the delay but I wasn't inspired at all. I've tried writing this chapter several times but it never turned out good! **

**That's why I am sorry if this chapter is crappy. :/ Also I want to thank WolfieANNE for bringing back some of my inspiration! You're the best Anne-chan! **

**snowdrop03: Wow, I haven't updated in like three months I hope you still read this :P Haha do not fret they will get closer eventually ;) For the poll thing it is a little bit too late but I've read the new Hollow and I got to say that I loved it! Keep on with the good work! ;D**

**Hachibukai: *scratch head* Well hey Joy-chan. I am so sorry for this super late chapter! But I couldn't get inspiration! *sob, sob* I hope you still are reading this and I know I love Grays eyes! They are so UNF! **

**ShiningStellar: Oh gosh another typo… how embarrassing *blushes* I will fix it later! I am glad that you liked the chapter and I was actually a little bit unsure if people may like it or not. Anyway here is the update! :D**

**gRayLu010: I will continue it, don't worry! But updates may be very slow… and yeah GRALU FOREVER!**

**WolfieANNE: I am happy you like it :3 and thanks for the idea I wouldn't have updated if it weren't for you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of fairy tail.**

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><p>Chapter four<p>

Gray's P.O.V

I was sitting at the cafeteria table surrounded by people that half of them I couldn't even remember the name of. Heck some of them haven't even talked to me. This was a really awkward situation for me and everything was because of Lucy. I want to get near her. She is so refreshing and somehow I want to get to know more about her.

I got closer to her and whispered in her ear.

"Hey wanna hang out today after school?"

She looked at me and seemed surprised but she still nodded. Everyone around the table got really surprised of my action. I felt all the eyes on me and suddenly the girls began squealing. Lucy smiled sweetly and shook her head at the girls. Then the girls stopped squealing. I looked over at Lucy and saw that her eyes were still the same dull eyes from this morning. She was pretty interesting to watch how she could be such a good actor.

The bell rang and everybody got up from the table, then I felt an arm around my shoulders.

"Yo Gray I haven't gotten the chance to introduce myself. My name is Loke; hey what class do you have now?"

Loke a guy with orange hair asked me. I showed him my schedule and he grinned.

"We have the next class together along with Mira and Natsu, come on walk with us."

He said dragging me along with him, Mira and a guy with pink hair that I suppose is Natsu. When I saw Natsu's hair I remembered that he was the same guy that had yelled at me for bumping into Lucy. He on the other side didn't seem to remember me. The three of them kept talking to each other and I was just tagging along. It didn't bother me at all; I actually preferred to have it this way. We walked inside the classroom and I saw my homeroom teacher in it. She smiled at me and I walked over to sit next to Mira who was patting the spot beside her.

"So Gray-kun what do you think about the school so far?" She asked me giving me a sweet smile.

"It's nice here." I said to her smiling.

After that the teacher started speaking and everyone got quiet. Something tells me that the students here are afraid of Erza-sensei…

[Time skip after class]

"Math is so difficult!" Natsu said as we were walking towards the lockers.

Mira laughed and patted his back.

"Natsu it isn't that hard if you just concentrated a little." Mira said smiling.

When we arrived at the lockers Lucy, Levy, Lissana, and a guy with black hair and piercings were already there.

Everybody started talking and I saw that Lucy was staring blankly at the wall. It was as if she wasn't even there with us. I walked over to her and tried talking to her but she just kept staring at the wall. After a while she just walked away. And I followed after her. Nobody seemed to notice me and Lucy when we left. I walked after her and noticed that she was heading towards the roof. When we arrived there I saw her just sitting there with a distant look on her face. I walked over to her and tapped her back.

"Hey weren't we supposed to hang out today?" I asked her and gave her a small smile.

She didn't even look at me at kept staring blankly out in the distance.

"Oi, I am talking to you!" I said as I felt a little irritated because she had ignored me.

"Oh right, want to go to the mall or something after school?" She said giving me that empty look.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked it may have been a little rude but it was starting to get weird her dullness and lack of response. In the beginning I had liked her indifferent behavior but it is starting to worry me. There is something wrong with her.

She looked down to the floor and then up to my eyes again.

"I don't know." She whispered. She putted her legs on the bench she was sitting on and hugged her legs.

"It has been like this for a while now and I don't know how to stop it." Then I saw it, it was for a short instance but it was definitely there. Sadness had been evident on her eyes for a few seconds before returning into her dull eyes once again. She laughed a little and looked up at the sky.

"I don't even know why I am telling you this, we just met this morning."

I walked over to her and sat beside her. Somehow she seemed so fragile right now. And it looked like she really needed someone that maybe could understand her. She looked at me as if she had been surprised over my actions. I just smiled at her and then looked away.

"You know if you want to talk I am here to listen."

She looked at me and was about to say something but then the bell rang.

"We should go to the classroom." She said as she stood up and started to walk away.

I followed after her and walked towards my last lesson.

[After class]

I walked towards the lockers to wait for Lucy to arrive. When I arrived she was already there. She was talking to Levy cheerfully but I could see that her smile was somehow forced.

"Hey! Are you ready to go?" I said as I patted her head.

Levy then took Lucy and started to talk to her. I couldn't quite catch what they were talking about but Levy seemed very excited.

"Let's go." Lucy said as she started dragging me towards the school gate.

We were walking towards the mall near the school in an awkward silence. I didn't know what to say it had been easier to talk to her in school I don't know why though.

"Hey want to have a cup of coffee or something?" She asked as we entered the mall.

"Sure." I said and she nodded. Then we started to walk towards the food section of the mall.

We entered a little café and sat at a table beside a window. She looked outside that empty look again on her eyes and I couldn't help but ask.

"What's wrong?"

She seemed surprised that I had asked and looked at me.

"I don't know." She said and looked down.

"Then what's the deal with the little act you've been doing in school?"

She then looked up at me and our eyes met.

"If I were to tell you, will you just judge me and laugh at me?" She asked never looking away from my eyes.

"I won't, I promise." I said looking straight at her eyes and I could see a little smile on her face. That didn't seem too forced.

"I can't feel." She whispered.

"What can't you feel?" I asked a little confused.

"Anything, I can't feel anything!" She whispered but this time a little louder.

"What do you mean?" I asked her. I was still confused.

"I have no feelings." She said and looked away.

I looked at her dumbfounded. I couldn't think that it was possible for a person to not have feelings.

"How did it start? Or has it been like that your whole life?" I asked her.

"No it started a few years back. I seemed to be kind of losing interest in everything. And I don't know why but after a while it all just stopped you know. Like everything just took to an end and I felt so alone. I felt so numb and at the end of the day I didn't feel anything." She said looking out of the window.

"So why, if you act like this happy go lucky person the whole time. Why can't you just try to be happy for real?" I asked her.

She laughed and then looked at me.

"No, it doesn't work that way. I can't just wake up one day, say "oh I wanna be happy" and be happy. Believe me, I've tried." She looked down and then she continued.

"I don't even know why I am telling you this. I am not even sure if you really do care."

At that moment the waitress came with our orders and we just sat there eating in silence.

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><p><strong>So what do you think good or bad? Please review and until next time! <strong>

**XoXo**

**XxCamixX**


	6. Chapter 5

**AN: Warning this chapter is extremely short! And I will make up for it later I just wanted to post something.**

**Review answers:**

**gRayLu010: Thank you for the support! And I will not lose hope! I will stay strong ;) Glad you like it and thanks for the review! **

**IloveCelestialIce: It's okay! The important thing is that you enjoy reading this! I also know what they are talking about: insertspidermanmemehere: And they will get closer after all that is pretty much what this fic is about :P I know Gray's eyes must be wonderful! I know I can't have an emotionless Lucy all the time can I? ;) I will update this soon but for now sorry for the short chapter. Thank you for the review!**

**Bananapower: You will know in a few chapters! Thank you for the review!**

**Rose in the Permafrost: Thank you! And I am sorry if this doesn't fill up the expectation but I wanted to let all my readers know that I haven't given up on this story! I will put up the longer chapter on the weekend! Thanks for the review!**

**Rosella6199: Thank you! I also think that *laugh* Thanks for the review! **

**Guest: Thank you! I don't think it's very cliché either I like doing new stuff so yep I decided to do a story with an emotionless Lucy :p. I'll put up the long chapter in a few days please wait for it! **

**Thank you all so much for putting up with me I love you all my dear readers! Once again sorry for the extremely short chapter!**

Chapter 5

GRAY'S P.O.V

As we sat in the café eating in silence Lucy just kept looking outside the window, trying not to get eye contact with me. It felt really awkward and I really didn't know what to do. We ate in silence the whole meal and then Lucy stood up.

"This was kind of fun but I have to go now. Let's do it again sometime." Lucy said giving me a small smile before walking away.

I looked after her, somehow it worried me what she had just told me. I mean how can it be possible to not have feelings right? It's the most normal thing in the world. And not having them made Lucy pretty special and interesting. I stood up from my seat and paid the bill. Somehow I ended paying Lucy's food as well. She had walked away without paying!

I walked out of the mall and started walking towards my house. It was pretty far away but just walking around town was really relaxing. I walked around looking at all the houses and at all the townspeople walking around, all the kids playing in the parks and some people jogging. Magnolia was really lively and I liked it.

As I arrived at the big house and opened the door I noticed that it was empty. I was almost always alone at home due to the fact that my mom is working almost the whole time. I walked over to the kitchen where I saw the regular note.

Gray

I'll be late working tonight so don't wait for me up. 

Make yourself dinner please.

Love

Mom

I sighed as I threw the small piece of paper into the garbage can and walked up to my room. As I opened I saw my usual messy room. There where clothes and magazines everywhere. My desk was filled with some old papers and my bed was messier than ever. I sighed.

"I really need to clean up this." I whispered to myself. And then I walked in took my laptop and walked out.

I started searching in the internet after Lucy had told me that. I searched and when I finally had found something I read through the whole text. One word got stuck inside my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

_Depression_

**AN: Short chapter I know even though I haven't updated in ages. Well the thing is I am prioritizing my other fic still alive and that is why I haven't updated in a while. I just wanted to post this to tell you guys that I haven't forgotten about it and I will continue it! This chapter is also short because I am planning of doing a short time skip starting next chapter. So that's it. I think I'll post chapter six in the weekend or so, so wait for it guys! Oh and when Gray does that he walks into the room thinks it's messy and says he should clean it up. Well that's me! I do that a lot I walk into my room that is the messiest part of the house and I think that I should clean it but actually never do! XD**

**PS. Please do not hate because it was so short! I promise I'll make it up to you guys.**

**Until next time**

**XoXo**

**XxCamixX **


	7. Chapter 6

**AN: So here is the longer chapter! I know I said I would've updated it on the weekend but something came up and I didn't have much time to write! Sorry! **

**Review answers:**

**Rosella6199:** It's okay! II don't mind I am just happy if you like the fan fiction! Maybe she is hiding something who knows? ;) Thanks for the review!

**Jays Feather: **Here is the update! Unfortunately I don't know when I'll be able to update this fan fiction again but I'll try my best to do it as fast as I can. I'll probably update this in two weeks.

**Bananapower: ** Thank you! I wasn't very confident in the last chapter because it was so short but you telling me that it was good give me much more confidence! Thanks for the review!

**Anon: **Okay I don't know how to respond to this without being rude. For starters if you didn't like this you could've just stop reading. I accept someone sending me a review with constructive critic but I don't like that you're telling me that the story is awful and stupid. I wrote about a depressed Lucy because I thought it would be something different and I liked the idea. Again I wrote this because I wanted to and this isn't against ANY of the fanfiction rules so I decided to post it. Please don't review this again if the only thing you're going to do is send me hate. K bye!

**Disclaimers: I do NOT own fairy tail or its characters they belong to the great Mashima-sama! **

Chapter 6

GRAY'S P.O.V

I and Lucy have been spending a lot of time together. We are usually just at the mall talking or walking around in Magnolia. In school we spend almost all our breaks in the rooftop just the two of us and it's pretty relaxing. We usually don't talk so much about ourselves or our lives. Actually I know almost nothing about her and she doesn't know anything about me. As I kept thinking I found myself stealing glances towards her direction. She was sitting beside me in the classroom doing the work Erza-sensei had assigned us. Somehow I couldn't stop thinking that the girl that was sitting beside me was void of feelings. I had asked her if she knew why she didn't feel anything a few days ago but her only response was an "I don't know". I think she isn't aware of her depression but I don't want to be the one telling her what it's wrong with her. It doesn't seem right to tell her if she didn't know it herself. If I were to tell her it would be like I am barging my nose into something that isn't my business and I don't want to ruin my current "friendship" with her while doing so.

"Gray do you want to go to the rooftop on lunch break?" She whispered to me.

I nodded as I looked towards Erza-sensei trying to concentrate in whatever she was saying. Time seemed to pass very slowly in this classroom. Because everybody feared Erza-sensei the whole classroom was very quiet. Even the pink haired idiot tried to concentrate on the lesson.

As the class ended and me, Lucy and Levy started to walk towards the arts room. Levy was telling Lucy about some new book she had read and I walked beside them in silence. As we arrived at the arts classroom I saw Cana-sensei sleeping on her desk like always. We walked over to our usual table were Loke and Freed were already sitting at. As soon as the bell rang Cana-sensei woke up gave us an assignment and then drifted off to sleep once again. I sat on my seat concentrating on my drawing of a forest. I saw how Levy looked at my paper with admiration in her eyes and I couldn't help but blush a little.

"Wow Gray you're great at this! Have you ever thought of becoming a professional artist?" She asked me.

When Levy said that everybody that was sitting at the table looked at my paper. They started whispering small encouragement words telling me that I was good at drawing. I looked over at Lucy to see her expression but she was just concentrating on her own drawing.

As class ended Lucy dragged me over to the rooftop before anyone else could notice where we had gone off to.

"Hey you know you don't need to drag me all the way over there. I can walk myself." I said to her.

She let go of my wrist and we started to walk together towards the rooftop. She opened the door and then walked over to our usual bench. She sat down and looked at the backyard of the school. As I sat down beside her and took out a book, I have taken that as a habit to bring a book with me every time we were going to the rooftop because most of the time we just sat here in silence.

"Hey Gray what's your family like?" She suddenly asked.

The question surprised me. Usually we don't talk about each other we just hang out but never actually talk about ourselves. Besides I didn't want her to know about my family because sincerely it was as if I didn't have one.

"Why do you ask?" I said as I looked up from my book.

"I am just curious." She said as she looked at me.

"There is nothing special about my family." I said and then started reading once again.

"Really?" She said as she gave me a playful look.

"Yes really, how is yours like?" I said giving her a teasing smile.

It was the first time that we actually asked questions about each other but somehow it didn't seem awkward.

"Nothing special." She said giving me a small smile.

I've seen Lucy smile a few times when we had hung out but this is the first time I saw a smile that didn't seem faked at all. I smiled back and started reading the book again. But then I remembered what I had read about her condition and couldn't help myself from asking.

"Lucy, why don't you just take antidepressant medicine?" I said as I looked at her.

"Huh? What do you mean?" She said as she looked at me confused.

Could it be possible that she wasn't aware of the depression herself? Hadn't she visited a doctor or at least googled her symptoms? My eyes widened when I realized that she indeed didn't know of it. And I realized that just should've kept my mouth shut.

"Nothing just forget it." I whispered ad I looked back to my book trying to hide my embarrassment.

She didn't seem to want to know further about why I had asked that and looked up at the sky. I looked at her and she seemed to be lost in thought. The bell rang and we started to walk towards the classroom. We walked in silence towards the classroom and I sat in my usual seat. I saw how she walked over and sat beside Natsu. She was talking with him with a faked smile on her lips. Somehow it made me happy that I was the only one who could make her smile for real. I know I shouldn't be feeling happy about it but still.

The teacher walked in and everybody started to sit down at their assigned seats. I noticed how someone was looking at me and I looked around the classroom only to see that Juvia was staring at me. I waved at her and she fainted. As the teacher kept talking and the time was passing by I started to feel tired. When I was about to doze off the classroom door suddenly opened, revealing a blonde man of about his mid forty wearing a black suit.

"Excuse me sir you can't be here we are in the middle of class." The teacher said to him.

"I am looking for Lucy Heartfilia, my daughter." The man said while looking around the classroom.

I heard how everybody in the class started to whisper and I looked to my side only to see Lucy with her eyes wide and her face paler than ever.

**AN: So this is a bit longer than the previous chapter what did you guys think? Please review and tell me! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! **

**Until next time **

**XoXo**

**XxCamixX**


	8. Chapter 7

**AN: So I am in a really good mood right now and I decided to update this! I hope I did well! **

**Review answers:**

**Vanillaxxangel: Here is the update I hope you liked it! **

**Rose Fang: Thank you! I am happy that you like this story! Here is the update and thanks for the review it means a lot **

**Red Kisses And Dark Secrets: Here is the update! I hope you liked it! :D Unfortunately you won't find out what he wants until next chapter sorry :P Thanks for the review.**

**Lalamnmgirl: Glad you liked it! Here is the update! Thanks for the review **

**Otaku'25: You will find out soon enough! Thank you for the review! **

**IloveCelestialIce: Thank you so much Angelica-chan! It really means a lot and well this isn't the first time I've dealt with hate so it didn't bother me THAT much. I was just surprised that it came from FFN. Thank you so much for the support it really means a lot! Oh and it is okay I know what you're talking about! When I have school it also takes a big part of my time so I don't have really much time Once again thank you! **

**herbert942: Naw thank you! I am glad you like it! :D and yes I will keep updating but they may come slow sometimes :/ Thank you for the review!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Fairy tail or its characters they belong to the great Hiro-sama!**

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><p>Chapter 7<p>

LUCY'S P.O.V

I felt how my hands started to shake at the thought that my father was here looking for me. It scared me, why was he here?

"Lucy what does he mean by father? I thought you were an orphan?" Natsu who was sitting beside me whispered.

I didn't answer and just stood up and walked out of the classroom I noticed that my dad had seen me and I started to walk faster only to not have to meet with him. I heard footsteps behind me but I didn't dare to look back. I don't want to look at the face of the man who once was my father.

"Lucy, wait!" I heard Natsu yell behind me.

I closed my eyes and stopped waiting for him to come next to me. Why were my legs shaking? As he came closer and closer I noticed that my whole body was shaking. When he came to my side he didn't say anything and just took my wrist and started to run towards a room in the end of the corridor. As we walked in he closed the door behind us. We were in a small janitor room filled with utensils for cleaning.

"Mind if I ask you what's going on?" Natsu said to me looking deadly serious.

I kept quiet and just looked at the floor because right now I don't know if I am going to be able to lie to him. I kept looking at the floor and I heard how Natsu sighed in desperation, I looked up to see him tugging at his hair with a look of anger in his face. I have never seen Natsu this concerned about anything so I decided that maybe I should just tell him the truth.

"That was my father." I whispered to him, still looking down at the floor.

"Yeah, I pretty much figured it out. Lucy what the hell, I thought you were an orphan!" He said as he was pacing around the room.

"I kind of am." I whispered still looking at the floor.

"No Lucy you aren't! Because if you were that man shouldn't be here, why would you lie to us!?" Natsu started to scream. He had never screamed at me before.

"Why? Why couldn't you be honest? Why wouldn't you tell us? Lucy we are your friends dammit!? Why couldn't you trust us?" Natsu said a little bit softer this time and I noticed how his voice cracked a little bit at the end.

"You wouldn't understand." I whispered once again.

"I am trying to understand you right now Lucy! Explain it to me! Why if you have a father that was looking for you, if you HAVE a father right here right now. Why wouldn't you acknowledge him?" Natsu whispered as small tears began to run down on his cheeks.

"If you only knew what I would do to see my father right now." He whispered.

"Natsu you don't know shit! You don't know anything, you have no fucking idea what I've been through yet here you are lecturing me about how to acknowledge my father, a man who hasn't cared about me for YEARS! If he is here right now is because he wants something!" I screamed as I walked out of the small room and slammed the door closed.

I walked away and made my way to the rooftop. As I walked as fast as I can I bumped into someone and as I looked up I saw the face of the man who was supposed to be my dad.

"Lucy, I've been looking for you!" He said with a voice so serious that I almost believed him.

"Really you have? For how long exactly." I said as I looked at him with the coldest stare I could manage.

"Well I just-"He started but I didn't let him finish.

"You just started looking for me right? I've been gone for two whole years and you just decided that you needed me for something and that is why you started to look for me, isn't it right father?" I said still holding up the cold stare.

"Look Lucy I just need you to come home okay? You don't belong here." He said back he didn't even care to explain why he had looked me up.

"Why? Why do I have to go back now? You didn't seem to need me for two fucking years, you could deal with it right?" I said and I saw how his stern look started to break. I was pissing him off but at least he was giving me something that I hadn't gotten from him in a while. Attention.

"You just have to come home right now. That's it!" He said as he was starting to walk away, probably to get the car.

"Why do you need me now? Ever since mom died, all you ever did was avoid me. And I don't care if I'll never see you again but I don't want to go back to that place." I said to him as I started to run.

I didn't hear what he said after that I just kept running. I didn't care about what the people in the school would think because I suddenly left. I didn't care that my father was probably pissed off right now. And I didn't care that he would make me go back to that place. Right now I just wanted to get away. I ran and I ran until I got to the familiar apartment complex. I ran up the stair to the second floor and opened the door.

I walked over to the closed door that was my room and I walked in and closed the door slowly. I looked at the surroundings of my room and I suddenly felt how empty it really was. Nobody had been here yesterday and nobody would be here tomorrow. Suddenly noticing the emptiness of my own house and the emptiness that I felt I slid down the door and took my knees up to my chest. It hurt, it hurt so much. How come this feeling was so unbearable? I buried my face in my hands as small sobs came out of my mouth. My whole body was shaking and tears were just running down freely on my cheeks. How come I felt this way? I have been okay without him for so long, so why am I feeling this miserable right now? I hadn't felt like this in a while, I felt lonely until now I hadn't realized how alone I really am. I tugged my hair and looked at my ceiling. How come he only wanted me when he needed something?

Once again I pulled my knees closer to my chest and I let everything out.

I may have been in my room for hours or just a few minutes. I didn't realize how much time had passed until I heard a knock on the door of my balcony.

"It's open." I muttered lowly.

To my surprise it was Gray who came in through the door. I buried my face into my hands quickly as soon as he had come in.

"How did you find me?" I asked him not bothering of looking up.

"I followed you from school." He whispered.

I looked up to meet his eyes and I saw how his eyes widened when he saw me.

"Lucy you're crying." He said as he started to walk closer to me.

I nodded as I felt how new tears started to form in the corner of my eyes.

"Lucy, are you feeling something right now?" Gray asked carefully as he sat down beside me.

"Yes I guess. I just wish it wasn't like this… Why when I finally feel something it has to be THIS? I can't even think clearly, I don't know if I should be happy because I am feeling right now I am so confused. And I can't ignore this it just hurts too much." I said as I once again buried my head in my arms and pulled my legs closer to my body.

I heard how Gray sighed slightly before putting his arms around my shaking body, embracing me into a warm hug.

"You know Lucy, that's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt."

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><p><strong>AN: So what did you think? Please review!<strong>

**And until next time!**

**XoXo**

**XxCamixX**


	9. Chapter 8

**AN: Hey Guys! I am so sorry for this super late update but yeah school is taking all of my time. Sorry! **

**Anyway I just wanted to tell you guys this and I am going to be very clear. I am not going to drop either of my stories okay? They may have really slow updates but just so you know I won't ever just stop updating and never update again okay? This is for both this fanfiction and my other one Still Alive. I am not saying that they will have quicker updates because honestly I can't promise that but I promise that I will end these stories okay just have faith in me. And if the horrible case that I'll lose inspiration for any of the stories I will just put it on hiatus until I get inspiration back. (This happens all the time thanks to tumblr! My life saver) But I will give you guys an ending to both stories M'kay?**

**Aside from that I just wanted to thank all of you guys who support me and review this thank you so much really. I appreciate it.**

**Review answers:**

**gRayLu010: **Sorry for the late update :S and I know I also envy Lucy! She has Gray for herself *pout* Thank you for the compliment and I hope you like this chapter!

**JD: **You know your penname is like one of my favorite characters of all time JD from scrubs *giggles* Anyway I am happy that you liked the chapter I hope you enjoy this as well and thank you for the review!

** : **I am overjoyed that you like this so much! It makes me feel like I did a good job! Don't worry I am going to keep updating but as you may have read up there it may take a while. Thank you for the review and enjoy this chapter!

**Timoteii: **Thank you so much for telling me where this quote is from! Okay it may have annoyed you a little that I didn't put a disclaimer for it but I saw it on tumblr (where I see ALL the quotes I use in fanfiction) so I didn't put disclaimer on it. I will do it on this chapter though so thank you. Oh and I hope you like the story thank you for the review!

**AyakaHeartfullbuster: **Yes, yes she was hehe; I hope you liked the chapter and thank you for the review.

**SpiritFrozenInTime: **Of course he is! He is the prince in the shining armor! Oh and those lines aren't mine they are from a movie I think? The Fault in Our Stars. Either way credits to the owner! And thank you for the review!

**ShiningStellar: **I was so happy when I saw that you reviewed, I thought you had given up on my stories. But I am happy you didn't and you gave it a shot Yeah I had a lot of trouble with chapters five and six but a got through it thanks to a friend and tumblr. I am happy that my writing is constant and that you enjoy reading this because after all that is my goal as an author to bring entertainment to my readers! Don't worry about Still Alive if you have time and want to read it! If you don't, it's okay, not everybody can like the stories . Thank you for the reviews and I hope you like this chapter!

**herbert942: **I am glad that you liked the previous chapter and I hope you enjoy this as well! And about that I think I gave away a clue on this chapter. But it isn't even clear so you'll have to wait to the next chapter to find out! Thank you for the review and I hope you like this chapter!

**TheBeastHunter: **I am really happy that you liked this fic! And I hope I did a good job on this chapter! :D Thank you for the review!

**Disclaimers: I do NOT own the characters of this story they belong to the great Hiro-sama! Oh and the last quote from the previous chapter: "That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt." It's a line from 'The Fault in Our Stars' so credits to the owner!**

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

LUCY'S P.O.V

My eyes were hurting, maybe they were swollen too, I had been crying for a while now and Gray just had been here by my side whispering comfort words. Not that it helped that much though but I liked that he at least tried. Feeling tired of crying I dried my eyes with the back of my hand and started to make some space between me and Gray. I don't know for how I long I had been in his arms but it had definitely helped. At first I was crying because of my dad but after a while it felt as if the rest of the thoughts and feelings that had been building inside of me for so long finally came up to the surface. Somehow I felt kind of relieved right now, as if a big weight just had been lifted off me and I was so much lighter. It was as if I had been bearing a heavy weight over my shoulders for so long that I had forgotten how it felt like to just let it be and cry, and as a dear friend of mine once said. "Sometimes you just need a good cry, even if you don't know what you're crying for." A small smile formed on my lips when I thought of that dear friend of mine that I hadn't seen in so long.

"Feeling better?" Gray asked me.

"Yes." I whispered my voice sounded so horse, it was weird that Gray hadn't laughed and made fun of it.

"If you don't mind telling me, what happened really? I mean he just came by to visit. Once again you know if you want to talk to me or anything, not like you have to! But you know sometimes talking about helps to make it feel better." Gray said while scratching the back of his neck and a slight blush on his face. I giggled at the sight it was kind of new to see Gray frustrated or even embarrassed. His eyes got slightly wide and a small smile was on his face then he pouted and then he pushed me gently.

"Hey! What's so funny!?" He said trying to sound annoyed but failing.

"Nothing really, well maybe you're right." I said and took a deep breath.

"My father hasn't really been well a father in a very long time. My mother died when I was seven and well he kind of took a distance from me and started to care more and more about business than what he did for me. After some time he completely started to only care about his business and he took almost none contact with me whatsoever. I tried to reach out for him so many times but to no avail, he wouldn't acknowledge me. I got tired of it eventually and when I turned thirteen I made my first attempt to run away. They found me the next day and my father locked all the windows and doors from outside and only him and the maids could open them. He had completely isolated me from the outside world and from himself. Eventually the numbness got to me and I transformed to this, to this robot. Void of feelings at the age of fourteen. At some point I started to starve myself I don't really know why, maybe just to get a reaction from him but it ended that I got in the hospital and stayed there for two days. Hell he didn't even come to visit me then." I started to tear up again. Remembering all this made me feel pain. Maybe just that cry from a while ago wasn't enough for all the feelings and pain I've shut down through the years.

"You know I remember that I cried myself to sleep but eventually I even stopped doing that. Anyway when I got out of the hospital things just got worse. It was almost next to impossible to get my father to even look me in the eyes. A few months after I turned fifteen I ran away. I took all the money I could and bought a ticket to a city near the sea as it had been my dream to see the sea since I was little. But you know what when I got there I didn't feel anything. I saw the sea that my mother had told me so much about when she was sick in bed. I saw the sunrise from the window of the hotel but I didn't feel a thing. It was as if a dark cloud if numbness was trapping me inside of it and I couldn't get out. After a year of travelling around the country I found myself in Magnolia. Here I met Natsu we became friends quickly and he pulled me away from that dark cloud for some time. I was feeling again and I was happy. But that didn't last long. I entered school here and eventually I was friends with everyone. But after a while they started to ask questions. Questions I didn't want to answer. I found myself lying to them. Nothing of what I told them was true and I started to put on the façade that you saw through. Anyway as more lies started to build and it became overwhelming with everything the numbness took over my body once again. I started to put on more fake smiles more frequently. And so the story goes on and I became that disgusting robot with no feelings once again."

GRAY'S P.O.V

As Lucy told me her story I could clearly see the mixed emotions on her face. She was very fragile and that I hadn't noticed how broken she really was send chills through my whole body. The melancholy aura that was around her started to show more and more on her facial expression as she kept telling me about her past. How she had become the Lucy she is now is not exactly a nice fairy tale. On the contrary it was actually kind of scary. But as she told me her story I couldn't help but see some resemblances on her past and mine. I shook the thought off because I really didn't want to think on my own problems right now and instead I focused more on Lucy's story.

At point small tears started to form on her eyes but she didn't stop telling me what happened. And at the end of the story it hit me. Lucy hated herself. Lucy hated her dad; Lucy hated a lot of things that she shouldn't hate.

"You're not disgusting, you're just…" I stopped trying to think of the right words to say.

"A little misunderstood." I said and gave her a small smile.

Lucy smiled a smile that seemed genuine and actually kind of happy.

"Thank you Gray, really Thank you for everything." Lucy said and hugged me. I felt how my cheeks got warmer but I just hugged her back.

"Hey do you maybe want to stay over and had dinner? Maybe watch a movie on the TV?" Lucy asked me and I could see the glimpse of hope on her eyes. I couldn't really find myself saying no to her right now. She seemed to need someone right now.

"Sure what are we having for dinner?" I asked her as I got up from the floor brushing away the dirt that was on my pants.

"Noodles?" She said giving me a playful smile.

I laughed.

"Sure need some help?" I asked her as I made my way out of her room and to the white couch on the living room.

"No I can do it on my own, by the way it is actually kind of late do you want to call home?" She said as she made her way to the kitchen.

The word home got stuck on my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

"No I don't need too." I sat down on the couch and started flipping through the channels on the TV. I stopped when I saw that they were showing some romantic comedy in one of the channels and I let it be there. Lucy was a girl after all she would like that kind of stuff.

After a while she got back with a tray that had two bowls of noodles and two glasses filled with orange juice. She sat beside me and we started eating there on the living room. We watched the movie and I saw that she laughed from time to time and was enjoying the movie. It made me feel at ease seeing her showing some true emotions.

Sometime in the middle of the movie the doorbell rang. I looked to my side and saw that Lucy had become pale and her body had stiffened. She got up from the couch and walked towards the door.

My eyes widened when I saw who it was that had come to visit. Her dad was standing by the door.

"What are you doing here? I don't want to see you. GO." Lucy said with a voice so cold that made me flinch.

"Lucy I-"Her father tried once again but she wouldn't budge. She made an attempt to close the door but Lucy's father putted his foot so that she couldn't close it. It annoyed me so much. After what Lucy had told me tonight I wanted no mere than to walk up to him and punch him in the face.

But I knew better than that and I wasn't stupid. I just sat there watching the whole scene playing in front of me.

"What don't you understand? GO AWAY!" She said once again her face stoic and her tone cold.

"Lucy just-"He tried once again.

"Get out! GO!" She screamed at him.

"LUCY I AM SORRY!"

And Lucy's eyes got wide.

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><p><strong>AN: What did you guys think? I hope you liked the chapter!<strong>

**Thank you for all the support I love you my dear readers!**

**Until next time**

**XoXo**

**XxCamixX**


	10. Chapter 9

**AN: Hi my dear readers! I hope you guys haven't forgotten about this story or Still Alive. First of all I want to apologize for the long wait but I've been on a long HIATUS for certain circumstances, but I am back at least for now, I don't know if I'll disappear again I hope not and but there really isn't much I can do. Thanks for all the lovely reviews and here are the answers! **

**Mirajane S and Erza S: Thanks for the review, yeah I know it's quite sad but I hope you still enjoyed the story.**

**MartiaLae: I am happy you liked the story so far! And I love seeing how you reviewed all the chapters! :3 I know I didn't update fast and I am sorry for that! **** Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Timoteii: Thanks to you I found John Green and he is an amazing author and I love all his books! So thanks for telling me about him! I know Gray is way OOC and I'll try to get him in character soon, I just need to get the plot a little more developed and I think I can make him be his old self again or so I hope! Thanks for the review and I hope you like this chapter!**

**fairytaillover416: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review.**

**RawrDinoE: Happy you liked it and sorry for the late update! Thanks for the review!**

Chapter 9

LUCY'S P.O.V

"Lucy I am sorry!"

Four words, it took him so many years to say four simple words. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move I couldn't do anything; all I did was look at him with wide eyes. I don't know if he was expecting me to hug him and tell him that everything was okay. But it wasn't, no nothing was okay. Everything was fucked up, I was a complete mess and everything was his fault. It wasn't okay and an "I'm sorry" wasn't going to be enough. So I closed the door and walked away. I noticed how Gray was looking at me with wide eyes; maybe he was worried maybe he was just as shocked as I was. But that didn't matter nothing mattered right now, and I just wanted to go to my room close the door and blast out music in the highest volume possible ignoring the world outside.

"You should go." I said as I walked over to where he was sitting and picked up the plates that were still full of food.

"Lucy, are you okay?" Gray asked worry evident all over his face.

"Yes Gray, I am fine. So please just leave." I said giving him a small smile.

I saw how his facial expression changed and he walked over to me and held my face close to his. This took me by surprise but I held the smile on.

"Lucy don't shut me out, just don't" He said as his grip on my face tightened.

"I am here okay? Everything is going to be fine. I'll be with you." He said his voice soft and looking at me with worried eyes.

"Gray, just leave, please." I said the smile never leaving my face.

I saw how his facial expression changed and he let go of my face. And then he walked out of the house not saying another word. I noticed that my dad had left; well that's how long he is willing to go for his daughter right? Giving up on the first try and I wasn't even surprised. So I walked over to my room and putted on some music.

I lay on the bed looking up to my white celling, I wasn't crying. I was tired of crying it wasn't even worth it anymore. So I just laid there listening to the soft tune of a song by Coldplay looking at my roof and wondering what was about to happen now. The emptiness was back, grasping me like a dark fog and I don't think it wanted to let me go. I caught myself having difficulties to breath so I got up from bed and walked over to the bathroom. There I looked at the mirror and a girl with blonde hair and dull eyes was looking back at me. She had mascara lines down her cheeks from all the crying. So I opened one of the drawers and looked for something that I hadn't used in a while. As I found the razor blade and looked at it I felt nothing once again and as I started playing with it passing it from hand to hand just looking at it. I haven't held it in so long and it was lighter than I remembered. In the background I heard fix you playing and a joyless laugh escaped my lips as I sank down to the bathroom floor. I kept laughing and couldn't stop it.

I kept looking at the razor blade and whispered to myself.

"I can't be fixed."

As I made the first cut on my wrist.

GRAY'S P.O.V

I walked out of her apartment, it's funny how things can change so fast. At first she was opening up to me and then she just completely shuts me out and doesn't even let herself show how much she is hurting, and instead shows the fakest smile I've seen her show so far. And no matter how much I wanted to help her she just wouldn't let me. So it didn't matter if she was all alone in her room or if I was right there beside her because she wouldn't let me in and I don't think she will ever let anyone in. At least not as long as she keeps thinking that being alone is okay. But it isn't and it pisses me off how I tried to show her that I cared, that I wanted to help her and she just shoved me to the side.

I walked for a little bit and walked past the park on my way home there I saw Lucy's father sitting on a bench with his head on his hands. I wanted to walk over to him and hit him or yell at him, or just do something but I couldn't. And I just kept staring at him hating in silence. He looked up and saw me he waved at me and then stood up from the bench and walked away. I kept looking at him until he was out of my sight and then I kept walking to my house.

It was a cold night, colder than usual which meant that winter is coming soon. I've always liked winter the snow and the cold but it somehow seemed way too soon for it to be winter now. I kept walking and when I saw the big mansion in front of me I realized that one of the bedroom lights was on. And it wasn't mine. I couldn't get my hopes up maybe I had turned them on, maybe it wasn't her that was back. But a little part of me was excited to see her again. So I ran into the house and I ran up the stairs, and there she was, with her short black hair and deep blue eyes.

"Mom" I said as I walked over to her and hugged her.

"It's been too long Gray. How have you been?" She asked as she returned the hug.

"Good, for how long are you staying this time mom?" I asked her, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Just for this night, I'll be flying over to this convent in London tomorrow." She said as she broke the hug and walked over to her closet and took out some capes.

"It's rainy over there you know." She said giving me a small smile and putting the capes on a suitcase.

"I guess." I said walking out of the room.

I knew from the start that she wasn't going to stay, she needed to and do her work, and I knew she was doing this for me. But it still hurt that she was never home.

And I couldn't help but wonder how Lucy was doing.

If she only knew how similar we both are.

**AN: Thanks guys for reading and I hope you liked the chapter! **

**Xoxo**

**XxCamixX**


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